Wow. Parents are dumb.

Hey Jason, the next time we have such a hard time getting you up in the morning, we'll take away your car and make you take the bus.

YES BECAUSE THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. If I'm not getting up, it's because I was up until 1 doing homework and can't physically open my eyes, not because I just don't want to get up. So by making me get up earlier to get the bus (thus making me getting less sleep), it's just going to make it harder, not to mention less healthy. DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT I WORK MY FUCKING ASS OFF? THAT I GO FROM SCHOOL TO WORK, COME HOME, DO FOUR FUCKING HOURS OF HOMEWORK, GET TO BED AT SOME UNGODLY HOUR, AND FUCKING DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY? AND THE NEXT? YOU WONDER WHY I HAVE A FUCKING ATTITUDE. IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE. I'M SO SICK OF IT.  You wonder why I don't get up in the morning? IT'S BECAUSE I GOT TO SLEEP AT FUCKING ONE O'CLOCK THE NIGHT BEFORE.

DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE SAYING? You don't make any sense and I'm sick of it.

That is all.

Well this has been quite a good weekend thus far.

Thursday: Football game with Kara, Adam, Kris, Beth, and Jocelyn. Then came home and hung around and ate a lot and was happy. I also watched Forrest Gump for the first time. Great movie.

Friday: Didn't really do much at all. Hung around the house/practiced/attempted to start homework (failed at that). Then work from 5-9ish. It was okay. I was expecting it to be busier, but whatever. Almost sold a guitar, but the guy had just got laid off so he couldn't buy it. Then Kris's movie night afterward. Got there about halfway into the movie, but it wasn't too hard to pick up what happened.

Today: Got up early and went to the piano sale at Hartt. We got a pianooooo. : ). Now I can finally learn/teach myself piano. Then came home and practiced a good bit. Learned the Regionals vocal piece. I plan on actually doing homework tonight.

Tomorrow: Work 12-4, then choir at 4:30, mass at 6, then home around 7, and more homework.

I needed this weekend.


Well, I'm off to practice some more/get some homework done.

Peace.

Wow thank you Ms. Gelezunas for your homework. Especially right now.

I do not appreciate school at the moment.

So yeah. I haven't really updated this week because I've been busy to no end. Crucible, work, homework, school, music, everything seems to be taking all my time away. Oh well. There's not much I can do about it.

Pep rally was Friday. Jazz band played, and I played with them (even though we only had one sax sectional). I was okay. I could have been better if I had played with them more. Oh well. People pretty much listened to us anyway. Mr. McLusky or however you spell his name seems really enthusiastic about the music dept. doing stuff at sports-related events. Like today at the football game, the pep band played because it was homecoming, and after he came up to us and started talking to us about playing at the next home game in a few weeks and at the basketball games and stuff. He seems really supportive of the idea, so maybe something will actually happen with pep band for once.

Well, I'm off to Alayna's fiesta. I'll update more later, maybe. Probably not because I haven't started ANY of my homework yet. Oh well.

Peace.

I realized today how absolutely INSANE November is going to be. Crucible will kick into high gear, NCCC's are in like a week or two, chem will be Hell as usual, and now that I'm the only part timer, my hours got switched to Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So that means that I'm going to be getting home at approximately 9:30 almost every night and have like 4 hours of homework to do. Not to mention practicing my butt off on top of all that because Regional auditions are in a month and a couple of days.

Today was kind of pointless and stupid and dumb. I basically got up, procrastinated a little bit, and started homework. Then I went to choir practice/church, and came home, and now I'm reading about the freaking dustbowl for English. Because it pretty much matters to the plot of Of Mice and Men.

Well I'm off to do homework so I can hopefully get in a little practice time tonight.

Peace.

So today was a good day. Work wasn't that bad. It actually went by pretty fast because it was fairly busy/we had shit to do. Not to mention the whole getting-to-sleep-till-9:30 thing was quite enjoyable. Pete had me answer the phone today for the first time. It was kind of nerve-wracking. But luckily it was only someone asking how late we would be open. But then the next time I had to answer it was this lady who had just bought a flute from the East Hartford store yesterday, and on the contract, the person who filled it out left out an 'H' in the model number (which was the difference between the lower model flute and the flute she bought), so she was skeptic about which flute it was, which I can't really blame her for. So I had to look it up the serial number and check if it matched up with the one she wanted and stuff. It was kind of nerve-wracking because the district manager was there because he was getting a hair cut next door (???) and he was "just visiting".

So yeah. I'm now a permanent part-timer at Music and Arts. I'm not so sure how I feel about it. I mean, it's nice getting paid and having money and knowing that I was the best part-timer this rental season, but I'm not sure if I can physically do it. My mom feels the same way but I lied and told her I would be fine. And I think I'll manage, but I'm not sure how yet. All I really need to worry about for the time being is getting through November 17th, because once Crucible is over, my schedule will become much easier to handle. No, not easy. But at least it will be manageable.

Oh, and now I have a sales goal. Woo. It's right around $5000 for November, which will be my first month as a permanent part-timer. Woo.

Then I visited Sara on my way home which was joyous.

Then I came home and my dad made me do homework. But then we went out to dinner so whatever.


And then I went to Kara's and we couldn't decide what we wanted to do so we asked her parents what we should do and they told us to go to the studio and watch a movie or play DDR or something. So we went to the studio and watched Catch Me If You Can because I haven't seen it yet. Buttttt we couldn't finish it because we both had to be home by midnight so we still have like 20 minutes to finish up next time.



I'm still not sure how I feel about you. You keep sending me mixed signals. Or maybe they're not mixed signals and I'm just reading them wrong. But either way I can't figure you out.

Sometimes you need to learn when to shut up and accept it. I'm starting to get tired of your condescending attitude.

Your's too.

I miss you.

And you.

What am I going to do with you?

Shut up and get over it. Everybody's getting sick of your crap.

I wish I could see you as a friend and not just as an acquaintance.



I wish I could practice but I can't because my parents are sleeping and it's 1 AM. I feel like I'm not going to be ready for regionals or all-state or college or whatever else I do. I wish I had more time.



Alright, kiddies. Time for bed. See you all in the morning.

Peace.

Well, I haven't updated in quite a few days. It's been on my list of things to do like everyday, but I just haven't gotten a chance to.

Yesterday, I went and saw Across the Universe, the movie featuring all of the Beatle's music and everything with, with Sarah Cov and Alyssa. Holy crap that movie is freaking amazing. Like you don't even understand how amazing it is. It's kind of long (almost 2 1/2 hours) and sort of trippy at points, but it definitely is a "must see". The guy who played Jude had an amazing voice. So did the girl who played Lucy. And the guy who played Max. Basically the entire cast was amazing. My favorite parts were the ending and the part with "Hey Jude". And the entire movie. The only part I didn't like was when they butchered "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!". Whatever, you can't have everything, I suppose. But anyway, the plot was freaking amazing too. It must've taken forever to write, and tie in all the Beatle's references, and have it all make sense. I give it 5 stars. What makes it even better is that most of the songs and everything were recorded live on set, instead of being dubbed in post-production.

Then after the movie, we went to Panera and stuff, then went home. It was a good night haha.

Then today I woke up at 11, did some homework, mowed the lawn, and went to church. And that was about it.

You frustrate me. You too.

Ugh. I left my script at school so I can't go over lines. Oh well, that's what Spanish is for.

Alright, I'ma go.

Wow, today was the best day I've had in a while.

I actually got up on time this morning so I didn't have to like swallow my breakfast whole. Then I got to school and I was in such a good mood. Maybe it was because it was a day one/I didn't have Spanish or chem. Either way, math was good; I couldn't help but keep smiling. I don't even like algebra. Then vocal ensemble was pretty good too. We sight read the rest of La Lluvia and it sounded actually pretty not bad. For some reason, there was like no one there. Dubes, half the tenor section, some sopranos and altos too were all out. Whatever, we sounded good. Except we only have like two real tenors, and one of them sticks out like a sore thumb. Whatever, I'm over it. Then there was Theater Arts, where we broke up into mime groups. My group was me, Alyssa, Hillary, Steve White, Matt Yost, and Dylan. Basically we got stuff done. Then I had Band which was fun except certain people are starting to piss me off. Then English was okay, we just finished our movie reviews. My group was me, Christian, Mike G., and Chris Binkowski. We freaking owned it in the face. Then history. At least Byrne's slightly humorous. Otherwise that class generally sucks.

Then props meeting. Went well. I handed out assignments to people to make, like the depositions and stuff.

Then I came home, sold pies, and went to my lesson, which was really good.

I should go. Goodnight.

Good afternoon, kids.

Today was a rather good day. I got to the DMV at 7:30. I was like the first person in line. Which made me happy. Because about ten minutes after we got there, there was about 30 people behind me.

Then we got in, and I took the knowledge test. I got to take it on the computer-touch-screen things, which was okay by me. The way the computer ones work is the test only goes until you get 12 right, and then it stops. Well, I got the first 12 correct, and so the test stopped after that, which was an unexpected surprise.

Then I had to wait for my road test, and while I was waiting, my mom started talking to the lady with her daughter sitting behind us in the wait area. Turns out that this lady was Mr. Pointek's cousin. Small world, huh?

Anyway, then I get called in for my road test. I do the road test, which I thought went pretty well. Then the inspector guy and I get back and he tells me that I passed. And I was really happy. So he gave me the paper and I went inside and I got my picture taken and I got my license. :)

Then I got back to school in the middle of Vocal Ensemble. Which was good. Because that means that I missed Spanish and Algebra. Which are my two of my three actual classes on Day 1's. So that was good.

Then after school I made up the math test that I missed this morning. It was fairly easy. There was one problem that I wasn't sure about but the answer was in one of the other problems so that's good.

When I got home my mom told me to go to Big Y and pick up some bread and stuff. So I did that. Because I have my license and I can. And in the car, I was blasting DMB and it was really rather satisfying.

Alright, well I'm off to go practice/do chemistry.

Bye, kiddies.

Today was a good day in general :).

I actually woke up semi-on time, and got to school with enough time to do my Spanish homework that I had decided to not do last night because I was exhausted. So that was good. Then I found out that I have a 101 is Spanish right now. Now if I could only get a 101 in Chem, I'd be all set.

Then there was algebra. This class is suuuuch a joke. I think it's a combination of me just being naturally good at math/algebra and Pointek's teaching. He's a really good teacher, and you can tell that he's really passionate about it as well. He's probably the best math teacher I've had since Mrs. Fuelhart in eighth grade. And today I got to leave 10 minutes earlier because of Our Town. Which was joyous.

Then we went to our town. The bus ride was pretty fun and the play was really good too (minus Emily).

Then the bus ride home was cool too. We were talking about all our favorite shows as kids like Franklin and Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Rugrats and Boy Meets World and it was just a lot of fun haha.

Then we stopped at the new McDonald's for lunch. It was okay. It wouldn't have been my first choice, but whatever.

Then we got back to school about 10 or 15 minutes before school ended. Mr. Prenetta didn't make us go to our classes, which made me very happy because it gave me time to study my solubility rules before my chem test that I was making up after school.

Then I had a chem make up test because I missed the test in class today for the field trip. It was decent. It wasn't incredibly hard, but I think I may have fucked up some of the precipitates. Oh well. Pretty much care.

Then I went to drama for a few minutes and went home.

And that was my day in a nut shell.




Last night I had a really good lesson. Stephanie is teaching me so much and it's really making me a better musician in general. I feel like I actually may have a shot at making regionals this year. I'm also going to prepare the Allstate piece just for fun, because chances are I won't make the cutoff for Allstates. Oh well. Maybe I can use it for college auditions.

Speaking of college auditions....

I need to start looking for something to audition on/start preparing it soon. I really want to give myself enough time to make the audition piece great and not have it be mediocre.

I go for my license in ONE WEEK. Actually six days not including today. Because today's pretty much over.

Ahh I need it now.

*Sigh* Dizzy and Bird make me happy :).

Goodnight, children.

Hello All,

I'm in a rather good mood right now. It's not actually a good mood. I guess the word I'm searching for is....peaceful. I think it's partly that I had a really good lesson earlier, and partly because I'm listening to Counting Crows. One of my favorite songs in the history of forever is "Another Horsedreamer's Blues". It just makes me feel very peaceful and it's got this sort of beat to it that is almost hypnotic, and if I ever feel like I need to calm down or chill out, or something, then I listen to this song. And it works every time. If anyone's ever in a spot where they need something to calm them down or something, try this song. It'll work. Guarantee it.

I don't think I would be able to live without music in my life. It's almost medicine to me. It can change any mood and make it better. For example: earlier, on the way to my lesson, my mom and I were having a fight about something stupid and I got really mad and stuff. So when we pull into Summit, I just kind of got out of the car without saying anything and walked into the studio, slightly angry and really annoyed and in an all-around bad mood. Then I had my lesson. And it was wonderful. I just started playing and everything just sort of melted away. I let everything I was angry at and stuff just go out of my clarinet with the air and spit. And I played Etude 15 one of the best times I've ever played it. And I've been pretty mellow since.

Placement auditions were today. I kind of butchered one of the scales but whatever. I pretty much care. I'm guaranteed either first or second chair anyway, so I don't really care haha.

I'm going.

Love.

I don't appreciate you, Mrs. Avram, for trying to make me miss band. Holy God, I can not wait until next year when I'm not taking a science.

I don't appreciate barely having time to breathe.

I don't appreciate you being slightly overbearing.

I don't appreciate you making vast generalizations about people.

I don't appreciate you trying to control my life.

I don't appreciate you, you, and you for telling me what to do. I can take care of myself, thank you.

I don't appreciate you, for making him feel like that.

I don't appreciate you, for making her feel like that.


However.

I do appreciate you for saying that.

I do appreciate you for all of your advice and help on this journey.

I do appreciate you for always being there.

I do appreciate you dealing with me all the time.

I do appreciate you for just being you.

I do appreciate you and you for being more than just a teacher.

I do appreciate the fact that you confide in me.

I do appreciate our talks.



Some of these can apply to more than one, and some to only one.



My life is busy. Very busy.

I'm less stressed than last year, though.

I need to find time to practice. I love practicing. I love the feeling of taking a piece of music and looking at it and saying to myself "this is impossible," and then a month or two later being able to look back at the progress I've made. It's so fulfilling amazing and it gives me this kind of rush that I don't get from anything else.

Tomorrow are placement auditions in Band. Alyssa's making a huge deal about it because she thinks Durfee'll give me first chair because he "likes me better." I don't really care too much about it. I'll be first or second chair either way.

I am eligible for my license in 16 daysss. I need it. It would make my life so much easier. I wouldn't have to worry about getting to work on Fridays (because my mom works 3-8 on Fridays), I wouldn't have to worry about the bus (I hate the bus.), and I wouldn't have to worry about getting a ride home from drama and places. I really hope I pass.

I also get my wisdom teeth out that Friday. I'm not really looking forward to it.

Bedtime. Goodnight.

Ugh. This week had been so exhausting and draining. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to do chem. Especially without a study hall. And with a billion other things going on. And it doesn't help that Avram is trying to make Christian, Jeff, and I miss band on Monday to make up a lab that we're going to be missing on Wednesday for the Big E parade. Pretty much happening, let me tell you.

I could bitch and moan about how busy my life is and stuff, but that wouldn't be very fun. So I'm going to spare you.

I love fall. Especially kind of overcast days where it's not raining, but there's a lot of cloud cover, and the trees are getting really gold/brown/orange/yellow and beautiful, and there's a lot of leaves on the ground. It's such a beautiful time of year. I wish it were fall all year long.

We started the jazz combo thing today. Holy crap. Amazing. It's me on alto, Andre on trumpet, Dave on bass, Ian on guitar, A-Mack on drums, and Aaron on keys. dsfjo. Today we took a riff that Ian had written and a riff that Alex had written and made a song out of them. It was so amazing. I miss Jazz Band so much :(. During Chem I can hear them and it just makes me depressed knowing that they're in there and I'm stuck in chem. :(.

Parade tomorrow, then Kris Kline's birthday party. Then Rockville Band Festival (?).

Goodnight, all.

I <3 rainy Fall days :)

I think that maybe, just maybe, I can do this. With some determination and not-procrastination I might be able to survive this year. So far, I've been busy, but nothing overly crazy. Of course Crucible hasn't started yet and there's only been a week of school, but I think that I can handle it. I am more confidant than before.

I can do it.

So. Tomorrow's the third day of school.

This weekend was fun. I worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and got called in to work on Sunday because the other part-timer, Elizabeth (who is completely psycho), called in sick. Her "allergies were acting up. Bull. Saturday, I also helped out at Brookside at the Roadrunner's game for community service for my health independent study. Talked to Sam there for a bit, so that was good. But then her cat got in to a fight or something, so she had to go haha.

Then yesterday was the Krasinski's Labor Day party at their new house. Like half of our neighborhood was there. The only people that weren't there were the Kohler's because they had a race I think. Some other people were there too, which was pretty cool. Mostly not kids that I normally hang out with, but whatever. I left pretty early cause mis padres were tired, but so was I so that's okay.

Yesterday at church, Deacon Harry gave a homily that really stuck with me. Usually his homilies are kind of boring and blah, because his voice is very boring and blah. But this was different. I don't know if it was what he said or something that he changed in his voice, but it was really good and really stuck with me. It was all about being humble and showing humility, and how we should try to live as Jesus did. And it really struck me that I've sort of drifted away from God lately. I used to pray like everyday and just talk to God, and now I'm lucky if I do every other day. I used to be so close to God and living the way he wanted me to, but lately I feel myself drifting off the path he chose for me. And I don't like it, and I want to change it.

So back to the homily. Like I said, the homily stuck with me. But the thing that most stuck with me was a prayer that he gave us. It was really short, but it expressed exactly how I've been feeling lately:

"Lord Jesus,
Your heart is meek and mild. Make my heart like yours.
Amen."

That's it.

Today was a productive day. I basically did homework from 12-4, and got over half of my chem, and all of my history and math done. Then I went to Kara's for a labor day barbecue thingy. It was pretty fun. Nicole Thibidoe, Kara (obviously), Renee Therrien, Dan Griffin, and Kara's and Renee's parents were there. I've never really talked to/seen Dan outside of football, and I always thought he was kind of a tool, but it turns out that he's a pretty cool kid. So the five of us basically just hung out, played Clue, and drew with sidewalk chalk on Kara's road. We're pretty mature high school-ers haha.

Then I came home and did more chemistry.


I think that maybe, just maybe, I can do it.

Peace.

P.S.

That entry may or may not make sense to anyone reading it. Depending on how much sense I make when I'm this tired. Which is relatively little.

peace.

So. I haven't really updated in a good three months-ish. I don't know why. Every time I went to update, I always got halfway, then got distracted. Whatever. \

I guess I'll skip the whole three-month update because I've talked to pretty everyone who reads this.

And I guess I'll skip to the summer summary. Ha. Alliteration.

This has been a rather fulfilling summer. I've been quite productive and managed to keep myself busy, and actually made plans with people, unlike last summer where I didn't do a damn thing. Despite not going on any big vacations or any small day trips either, this has been the best summer I've had in a long time. I've made some new friends, gotten closer with old ones, and realized some things about myself. Let's make a list of thing that I've done this summer:
-Gotten a lot closer with some drama friends after spending practically the whole summer with them.
-Started preparing the Eastern Regional audition pieces. The auditions aren't until December 1st, and all I really have left is to fine tune some dynamics and stuff in the slow one, and get the fast one up to speed, which isn't going to be hard, since I'm already like 3/4 of the way there. I feel like I have a really good shot at making it this year.
-Looked at colleges, and started to make a list of those that I want to visit during the school year.
-I feel like I've really progressed as a musician this summer. This is why I love Eastern Regions. Not only is it good experience with auditions and stuff, but it always increases one's musicianship and musicality. :)
-Decided for sure that I'm going to be a music teacher. It's the only job that I could really see myself doing for the rest of my life and being happy with it. No, it's not going to make me rich, and with the way the arts in schools are going lately, it's not going to be easy. But I'm going to do it.
-Got a job at Music and Arts Center.
-Came to terms with some things that have been in the back of my mind for a while.
-Read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
-Accepted that some things simply aren't going to happen, no matter how much I want them to.
-Accepted that some people simply aren't going to change, no matter how much I want them to.
-Got a 1926 Martin Handcraft Alto Saxophone that was originally my Great Great Uncle Louie's, and then found out that it's not much better than my current saxophone.
-Decided that I want to start saving up for a professional saxophone before college.
-Had some difficulty letting some people go to college.
-Went kayaking.
-Been let down on a few occasions.
-Realized that when I'm a senior, I'm going to have very few friends because the majority of my friends are going to be gone haha.
-Came to terms with my feelings about some people.
-Went to my first band officer party at Adam's house.
-Became much closer with some people and became slightly distanced with others.
-Realized that if not for music, I really would have nothing to live for.
-Had some moments when I thought that something was what I wanted, but later realized that it wasn't.
-Had serious doubts about my ability to do AP Chem.

Overall, I'm happy. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the best, I'd rate my life at around an 8 or 8.5. And I'm okay with that.

I think that'll do for now.

Stay tuned, and don't touch that dial.

Schedule
A: Spanish III / McHugh
B: Algebra II / Pointek
C: Vocal Ensemble / Durfee
D Semester 1: Theatre Arts / Prenetta
D Semester 2: Gym / Kelly
EF3: AP Chem / Avram
F: Band / Durfee
G: English III / Gelezunas
H: U.S. History / Byrne

Homeroom: Mertz

Let me know if we have any of the same classes.

Grr. I'm sick again. freaking immune system work damnit.